Do you ever feel so fucking stupid? It's like, everything you want, you have it. But still, you're jelaous as fuck and you want all the attention..And you hate yourself. I mean, you've got it all, you have friends who would give their lifes for you, you've got boyfriend who loves you so much, after all this time. You've got the family, everybody is perfectly healthy, and there's no violent or other problems. You're healthy, you're smart, you've got the good grades, you're not stupid, you have your talents. You're not ugly, your family is not rich, but still, they give you everything you want. Your older sister and brother adore you. You have a home, and thank God there's no threat that your family is goin' to lose it. Basically, you've got something which is the closer thing to perfect life. AND STILL, after all that..you're jelaous when your friends say they love somebody else, you're jelaous when you see their facebook statuses, messages. And still, you're so damn fuck up, you feel fucked up for no reason, you cry..you stopped counting days your tears didn't hit the floor. All you wanna do is be depressed for the whole time, but actually you don't want that, you want your friends to see you're sad and ask you what's wrong. And they do. They really do. But you want more, MORE AND MORE! You remember the days you had so much fun, when you were that silly kid who laught the whole time. And you miss those days, cause you didn't really change, you're just started to be a whore attention instead. And you don't wanna keep doing this shit..you don't wanna be this kind of person. The problem is, it's really hard to go back..You try and try, you're okay during the day, but when the night comes, you're starting to be a attention whore again. You cry again, no matter what you said and how you felt two hours before. And you really don't know what to do anymore..you can't go on this way anymore. You don't want to go on this way anymore. All you can do, is try again..and again. Cause you are the selfish, jelaous motherfucker who wants to be the fucking star of the show. And when you realize you can't, you're mad..so mad! And then, you still try..and try..and try..You cry to..you cry alot. But what can you do? I guess, it's those teen years. I guess it will be better..or am I just so fucked up, and no one can't help me? I don't know. I'm just confused..so confused..